Music the unthinkable…

Well it has been some time since am feeling strange about myself and about what am feeling toward a clever beautiful lady which I have known through the yahoo chatting (I did not met her in real life till now), and I was asking myself about what I really want from her. About what can happen between me and her. What were my goals?. What was my motivation? Can it be real? Well…I tried to think as logical as I can…as real as it can be…I tried to resist my fantasies and I did that successfully especially these late days….and I quit my old habit of being online waiting for her o come online…(that was really a suffering)…anyway…I tried to forget about her for one week…it was nearly successful…

It was nearly successful….yeah….but….today….after the panoramic fast rotatory circulatory colored noisy morning of work in the psychiatric ward in the hospital with the exact number of clients that you need to be little drowsy and little eccentric as if you are yourself kind of a client (sometimes the word client is used instead of patient when you want not to label a person seeking the psychiatric help as a patient)…so…it was nearly successful till this afternoon when I felt like I have drunk a pint of bear …or make it 2 please….so…I was smiling with my self a second…not knowing why…then become little sad….with myself…and I don't know why again….seems to be some remnants of some parts of some stories I just heard this day in the morning… I went to the room of meetings in the ward...opened the computer…I got there a song of George Michael called "this is not real love" and this song was sent to me by that lady…who confused me a little….am writing now while the headphones are in my head stimulating my head from both sides…holding my head from my ears…and I think now am little….

What to say…this is something cannot put it in words….the song and that lady…well….

………

I bet this is love……