free association (part 6)

how we feel in our body is really something worth studying...there are many things to say about that....there is what is called as cenesthopathic feelings, it is when someone feels bad feelings in his body, or let us say, his relation with his body is not that good. My father don't have a mustache, and we live in a society where the mustache is very important for the men to prove that they are really men...some swear by their mustaches..but my father seems to be a rebel...and also he lived in many countries with different cultures..so he got his own ideas, he is not a stereotyped iraqi, when i grew up, i shaved my mustache, i didn't have a mostache till about 8 months from now, and these days...i got some cenesthopathic feeling toward it..i play with my mustache, first that was just a...just nothing...but now it seems it is reaching an obsessional degree...actually i started to feel that the trichotillomania patients got all the write to do that...to pull their hair...it really sometimes help to ...to what..to decrease the tension i think...or to feel our body?...anyway..they say hitler was having trichotillomania and he used to pull his mustache..that was why he had a small mustashe...that was a disease he got...but our teacher of history in the secondary school seems not knowing that because he used to shave his mustache in a way that leaves only a small piece of hair in the centre...like hitler...anyway....i think i will shave my mustache....i will think about that....you know what? i think getting rid of my all hair is better..i mean the hair over my head..in the scalp...isnt that more easy to live with?...i think am hungry...i got to eat...drink tea..then think about it...ok....take care..bye