I just woke up from a strange dream again. A panoramic dream in which I saw many things. As far as I can remember I went to Bab Il Sharjie (the eastern gate, a place in Baghdad near the liberty monument). I started looking at the churchs. There was a long church (not existing in reality) of many floors and a modern look. I knew in the dream that it has elevators (elevators in my Iraqi mind means Modernism, or maybe postmodernism. Or something that is still not firmly existing even at the era of postmodernism). Its windows were narrow as if made to let people to see though it from the inside but not to let people from the outside to see through it. I kept wondering till I saw a friend. A christian friend who left Iraq before weeks (this exists in reality, I mean this is a fact). I greeted him. He was smiling widely and sitting on a high bench. He was talking loudly (as usual) to a nearby sitting man. I asked him about the name of the church. He gazed me for a while with so cautious look then said with a low voice the name which is forgotten now. In the dream, when I heard the name, I asked my self, "is it Krimly?", becuase there is a christian school in Baghdad named Krimly school and I don't know where it exist. I only know that father Anistas Mary Al Krimly was intersted in Arabic language and wrote many books about it and about Iraq culture. I am reading a book about letters between Massignon and father Kerimly, hence why I am thinking about him in my dreams. But the name was not "Krimly". It was something else. When I asked my friend the christian (whom I talked yesterday via the yahoo chatting) about wether this church is a school, he didn't answer. I asked him wether I can take photos. It is not accepted to take photos in many parts of Baghdad. My friend said that he doesn't know really but he can help. He took the camera from me and with a fast movement he took a picture and went back smiling widely.
I went to the market. Many vegetables and meats but some few books there. They were covered with dust and their prices were high. I went to another corner of books and "pee ka boo" a relative of mine living in Algeria came from between the books. (in reality she was the one who adviced me not to read "the prophet" of jibran Khalil Jibran in 1991 because as she said he was a Jew).
The christian friend came and we started to chat. They started to talk about some thing which I failed to follow. Something about sex. I felt annoyed. the christain freind went. She asked me to accompany her during shopping.
After a while i was walking next to a kurdish psychiatrist going to the conference. The conference of all Iraqi psychiatrists.
It is late at night and the golden shrine of Emam Al Kathum is nearby. I went to take pictures of it. But was afraid that this is prohibited. I saw the church in the shadows so far. I decided to take a picture that includes the two. I kept gowin back so that I can see them both. A lady came from behind of me and I was startled and the camera moved and the photo spoiled.
The lady told me about her sister who seems frightened. Her sister, aftereating breakfast this morning, started to have things which I forgot now. She told me about those symptoms and my diagnosis was a panic attack. I told her that she need intravenous valium. To take another point of view i asked her to come with me to the conference room. The lady said "conference" with anger and redicule. As if telling me that this is a silly thing to do.
While i was explaing to my colleague the case of the lady's sister, a senior psychiatrist took the microphone and looked at me and said: "may everybody stop this joking".
I took the lady out. Felt annoyed. Came back to the conference room to find a WC door. I went inside the WC and find a long market. I was holding 2 slim books in my hands. I threw them inside the conference room on a chair, but they fall on the ground and made some noise. Everybody in the conference room stopped talking and i felt satisfied.
I reached a book shelf in the market to find a novel by a writer named "musbahi" (there is such a writer whose book is unread by me since i bought it since 2 weeks), entitled "kareem the libian" (my musbahi novel entitled ADIEU ROSALIE).
Then, i don't know how, I heard Musbahi saying to me: "wake up now so that your eyes see things green".
I woke up and saw something blue..... concentrate.....saw green lines on it....concetrate more ..... no blue nor green but a white wall of my room.