One of my colleagues told me once: "Sami, excuse my remark, but you don't know what you want." I didn't like to discuss that with him, but the bottom line is I think that nobody knows what s/he wants form life.
I took the bus today who was there waiting for me? now you already know, I hope. A Virginia Woolf of a kind. And we started chatting.
VW: So where are you going today?
S: To the University to see whether I can change my place of working.
VW: Soooo, that meeaanzzz, you know where you are going to?
S: welllll, ... - I looked in her eyes and saw that mixture of cleverness and ridicule so I took a deep breath and opened my book and read:
"Lazy and indifferent, shaking space easily from his wings, knowing his way, the heron passes over the church beneath the sky. White and distant, absorbed in itself, endlessly the sky - then VW interrupts suddenly:
VW: So you can follow my ideas?
S:... -I search in her eyes for ridicule and before I was able to find any I opened my mouth and started rambling- wellll, yeah, you like herons, they kind of having long necks, and long beak. They are kind of slim and feather-light. They seem nauseated. Oh sorry didn't mean.. didn't mean that... that you like nausea, but anorexic.. are you??
VW: No, at all.
S: You don't like heaviness. And you are tortured by not finding a goal. This heron knows his way and you like that, knowing once way. You don't feel like, consciousness had known its way. Once conscious, you're lost. Animals are better. Objects are the best. You like perception. You contemplate. YOU SEEM TO ME A BUDHI.....
The bus stopped and the people were looking at me. The driver said: "You are talking to your self, you are frightening people!"
While the bus regains its path, to the nowhere, VW giggled like a prostitute.