Monday, January 19, 2009

These Days

"I was walking around, just a face in the crowd
Trying to keep myself out of the rain
Saw a vagabond king wear a styrofoam crown
Wondered if I might end up the same
There's a man out on the corner
Singing old songs about change
Everybody got their cross to bare, these days"

I reach my job after 2 hours in cars crowds. It annoys me. The psychiatry ward is in the 10th floor. I don't like the oppression in the elevator. It is good to have some sport after all that smoking. Patients are going down in stairs. A man with a urine bag. A woman with a syringe filled with blood. A young man holding many blankets. The cleaner who wears that ugly cleaners' uniform is sitting at the ladder next to his broom smoking.

"She came looking for some shelter with a suitcase full of dreams
To a motel room on the boulevard
Guess she's trying to be james dean
She's seen all the disciples and all the wanna bes
No one wants to be themselves these days
Still there's nothing to hold on to but these days"

Her face contains two deep longitudinal furrows above her Caucasian nose. She is white and slim with a tint of hidden sorrow and untold stories. Her beauty made her cleaners' uniform holy beautiful in my single eyes. She remembers I was giving her long eye contacts before 2 years. When she saw me after this long time she gave a smile. I gave her a smile while my fingers invaded my hair. Three white hairs appeared in my head since some time. I should stop running Fromm freedom since I have passed 30 years by some days.

"Jimmy shoes busted both his legs, trying to learn to fly
From a second story window, he just jumped and closed his eyes
His momma said he was crazy - he said momma I've got to try
Don't you know that all my heroes died
And I guess I'd rather die than fade away"

Today I was walking across the bridge when I saw the fence was broken from a side. "an invitation to suicide?". At ward my colleague said: "90% of those who commit suicide got mental illness". I kept thinking about the 10%. Existence is a stranger at some Algerian sea next to Camus. Existence is sometimes a Saterian nausea. While Hemingway said Farwell to arms.

"These days - the stars seem out of reach
But these days - there ain't a ladder on these streets
These days are fast, love don't lasts-in this graceless age
Even innocence has caught the midnight train
And there ain't nobody left but us these days"

The words between brackets are the lyrics of Bon Jovi song "These Days".


Krystal Bell 541/2 years of age. said...

Don't tell me you get frightened in an elevator like me.

Laura said...

Happy birthday. The world is lucky to have you in it.

saminkie said...

Krystal Bell, elevators in our country stop when electricity stop. With continuous power i won't feel frightened from them. Anyway it is always not so comfortable to be in a closed place for me. Like you feel. Thank you for your visit. Recently i am unable to get access to your wonderful blog.

saminkie said...

Dear Laura, the world is worth living with woderful people like you in it my friend. Thank you, you made my day more beautiful when i have read your comment early this morning.

tracy said...

"Even innocence has caught the midnight train".

Oh, so sad, so true.

So many times i wish i had the right words to comment on your lovely posts, but the words always evade me, they like to hide from me, never to be found.

Happy Birthday, my dear friend Sami.

saminkie said...

Dear Tracy my friend, don't think about the right words, i just want your words. Your words are so precious for me. Maybe you cannot imagine how i feel so happy when recieve a comment from you my friend. Thank you for your care.

Krystal Bell 541/2 years of age. said...

Happy late Birthday Saminkie!How old are you by the way?

I like innocence very much.And it makes me sad to see how children lose their innocence so young in the west,anymore.It all went downhill after Women's Lib started.I'm so grateful to GOD that HE has given me mine back and totally healed me too.I feel like a pure,innocent virgin at 15today.Praise GOD!I wonder if I still blush too,ha,ha,ha?!

saminkie said...

Krystal Bell, thank you for your care. I passed 30 last August. I still sometimes don't believe that. That was why i refered to it lately in this post. When i said "i passed 30 by some DAYS" i didn't mean FEW DAYS... i meant few months.